What would come to mind if I asked you to name the greatest rivalries in sports? Go ahead, give it some thought.I've noticed that there are two types of people when it comes to sports rivalries. The first group immediately begins to list rivalries. Some will start with their own rivalry: New Englanders will overwhelm you with their disgust for the Yankees, Duke alumni will begin to recite their numerous victories on Tobacco Road. Others, maybe those without a personal connection to a great rivalry, will ponder the question more deeply to identify a list of rivalries with real gravitas. These "listers" can be found simply enough. Just google "greatest sports rivalries" and a myriad of lists appear. Listers, I would guess, comprise 80% of the population.
The other 20% is more circumspect. They avoid the urge to begin with individual rivalries. They start with criteria. They ask: what makes a great rivalry? And then they apply this criteria to find rivalries that meet their standards. I am in this minority. So, what makes a great sports rivalry? Here are my criteria:
1. Joy-heartbreak quotient (JHQ). The joy-heartbreak quotient is simply the difference between the joy created in the world when a team wins and the heartbreak created when a team losses. It is the number of people who feel joy multiplied by the intensity of their joy less the number of people who feel heartbreak multiplied by the intensity of their heartbreak. In great rivalries, more people care about the outcome and there is more intensity. Army-Navy is certainly a rivalry but not many people outside the armed forces care much about the game so the JHQ for an Army-Navy game is certainly less than, say, Michigan-Ohio State.
2. Durable. I respect and in many ways admire the old days. Football without helmets. Baseball without lights. Hockey without teeth. Uphill both ways in the snow and all. But I am more interested in rivalries that have withstood the test of time. The JHQ calculus is magnified by years of fans experiencing both sides of the equation as their team flows through the crests and troughs of winning and losing. Steelers-Cowboys and Giants-Dodgers were surely great rivalries in their heyday. But they have faded.
3. Frequency. The best rivalries are forged from frequent battles. Many of the best rivals are in the same division or conference, play each other several times a season and then have to meet in the playoffs where the stakes are even higher. Sure the Cowboys-49ers battles were great games but nothing compared the year-in and year-out Redskins-Cowboys rivalry. Frequency multiples the JHQ.
4. No "I" in Team. This is less a rule and more a caveat. There are terrific rivalries among individuals: Ali & Frazier. Arnie & Jack. Nadal & Federer. These are certainly rivalries but they have no durable anchor beyond the individual contestants. They have no longevity beyond the individuals themselves. Sure, 78-year-old barbers still argue about the greatest boxer that ever lived but choosing sides is often a matter of personal preference rather than allegiance to the home team. The great rivalries transcend individuals because the enemy never goes away. New Yorkers despised the Red Sox with Cy Young just as much as with Roger Clemens.
With these guidelines in mind, I humbly offer my thoughts on the The Greatest Sports Rivalry Ever. But first, the honorable mentions: Redskins-Cowboys, Oklahoma-Texas, Auburn-Alabama, Patriots-Colts, Pepsi-Coke and Mac-PC. These are all worth a Saturday afternoon on the couch. But for real passion, intensity and JHQ, not many rivalries can create the adrenaline as these five:
#5 Maple Leafs-Canadiens. This is your basic French vs English rivalry. But it's hockey, it's Canada and it's faded recently so fifth place may even be generous.
#4 Michigan-Ohio State. This is the best institutional rivalry in the world. They are competitive in football, basketball, and probably even water polo. But it's the football that makes this a great rivalry.
#3 Red Sox-Yankees. This is almost the definition of rivalry. I almost got mobbed once for wearing a Red Sox hat at Yankee Stadium (and the Red Sox weren't even playing).
#2 Tar Heels-Blue Devils. This is purely a basketball rivalry but when HBO makes a documentary about your rivalry, it must be serious.
#1 Tie: Rangers-Celtic and Boca Juniors-River Plate. Surprised? I know what you are thinking: soccer, really? Actually, these two rivalries exceed the rest of the list by orders of magnitude. Fans are separated by riot police. They exit the stadium in opposite directions and walk a mile before being allowed to turn back. Boca-River is class warfare. It is the "millionaires" vs the "people's team." Rangers-Celtic is religious warfare. This cross-city Glasgow rivalry is Protestants versus Irish Catholics. What these two rivalries lack in market size they make up with intensity. They are ancient (1888 and 1931 respectively) and both sets of teams meet at least twice or more a year and then again (usually) to determine the league championship. Nothing in football, baseball or hockey here in the US compares to these two rivalries.
On second thought, what's so great about rivalries so intensely savage that they require riot police and incite not joy and heartbreak but rather perpetuate hatred and even more hatred?
